working with Families
Creating new conversations
“Family life is something like an iceberg: most people are aware of only about one-tenth of what is going on — the tenth that they can see and hear.”
— Virginia Satir
The opportunity in family counselling is to move from actual or potential rupture to repair: to dissolve tensions and fears which if untended can become toxic and whose impact can endure for generations. The legacy of breakdown in family relationships can be profoundly distressing and destabilising. My goal in family work is to create a safe space for conversations yet to be had. Once these are identified and family members can be seen, heard and better understood by one another much can be resolved and healed and destructive behaviours replaced. What can be talked through doesn’t need to be acted out.
It is natural that families evolve and change over time: transitions around divorce, the blending of new families, the complexities of sibling relationships and the influences of a parent’s own childhood in how they parent their children all carry within them the potential for positive change. The shifts that need to happen to accommodate change can become an opportunity for growth and resilience.
Parents who decide to separate or divorce can minimise destructive potential for their children and themselves by attending sessions in which they co-create a vision for the new family structure. In such work a key question for parents to ask themselves is: when you look back in years to come, what story would you like your children to be telling about the impact of your divorce on the family?
Testimonial:
“I am happy that your sessions and guidance has provided a platform on which we could understand each other better. I now have better insights into both of my parents, and have a much better perspective on how things were/are for them. I believe they also have a much clearer view of how things were/are for me as well.”